And to you all who know me well, know that there is one of those nights brewing and brewing very vigorously!!
But for all the hard work, the shifting, the packing, the storing and the living out of suitcases that has been to bring my life back into the positive, on a number of different levels I am on track.
To sum up: this pay just gone, it is one that has not been tapped into in advance, one that I have not had to repay those ones dear to me who lent me money when I thought I may be evicted from my home, or the ones who helped me out with my day to day living just to get to the next pay cheque.
This pay is all mine (well minus the odd incidental payment I need to make) and what a feeling.
It is still a feeling of disbelief, I am unsure that this is my life, a life that had been shit (excuse the terminology but it defines it precisely) for a while, is now not so. It is actually shaping up to be a life I am proud to live, and one that, other than my love affair with Vodka, does not need additives of any kind to make me cope, to survive or even to dull.
Not the conventional life one at my age is stereotyped to live, but to be outside that box and be true to me is what is important.
So my challenge to you is not to confine yourself to the expectations of society, therefore limiting yourself and your potential, but to be true to yourself. Because by taking your unselfish wants to the forefront, while not forgetting that is not all about you, and treating others as you would like to be treated, you will heal, you will move on and you will surprise yourself. This I am sure!!
Try, challenge and make yourself uncomfortable, you will be surprised at your strength. I certainly have been.